Well. The good news is that I don't have malaria. Luckily the test turned out 'negativo'. Having a potentially deadly disease is never good at the best of times. The bad news is that, with varying ailments of varying severities, I've been ill and/or not quite right since Friday evening, it's now Tuesday and I'm ill, hot, bored and without a laptop that can store any more than an hours worth of charge.
I blame the drink that Francis bought on Friday night - Friday night is drinking night by the way, much like England, nobody has work the next day and so everyone thinks there's nothing better than to have a dance and get well and truly trolleyed - the drink was some terrible imitation of the creamy liquor I know of as Bailey's, the Mozambican version is called 'Choice - Irish Cream'. Choice Irish Cream comes in a plastic bottle of 275ml, 22% alcohol.
I should have smelled a rat when I noticed the lack of sell by date, or maybe when I felt the stickiness of every single bottle of Choice on the shelf, or maybe even the fact that every single label was on wonky. All of these things I did pose to Francis, but he seemed fine about it, and as I'd seen a lot worse since I've been here, I gave it a go.
A few hours later, after only two beers and only two sips of Choice, I attempted to get some sleep. As soon as I put my head down and closed my eyes, I realised that the room was spinning and I was feeling pretty sick. There isn't much you'll want me to elaborate on here, except you'll be glad to hear I eventually wasn't sick!
The following day was made up of little other than Francis and I feeling inexplicably hung-over and rather queasy.
The day after that (Sunday) wasn't filled with much either, little other than a puzzling two-day hangover.
Monday, I thought I was on the mend but somehow managed to strain my lower back - something that I've never ever achieved before. I think that combining The Morning Workout and Fatty may have had something to do it. Since I've never had a back problem before and it was proving impossible to bend over, I think I was understandably a bit worried. A few ibuprofen, stretching exercises and not moving much, helped a little bit. And had I had known what was to come, I wouldn't have complained.
And so onto Tuesday (yesterday). Yesterday was not a good day. As far as I can remember, I was woken up by the guard doing his usual sweeping up of leaves before he ends his shift at about 5:30. Or wait, actually, maybe I was more likely woken up by a sudden call of nature - which at my age is unusual at 5:30 - it was time for the loo. Either way, the loo is where I went. Now, I didn't quite run but you've all heard of "Delhi Belly" right? If not that, maybe "Montezuma's Revenge"? Well even if it's a no to both, let's call this one "Inhassune Incontinence" and then maybe you'll get the idea. After another few trips to the bathroom, it was time for some Imodium (thanks again Ruth!) and back to bed.
So, as well as the afore mentioned incontinence, it turned out to be a headache-y dizziness and that combined the urge to be puke up the little food I'd had, meant that yesterday was not shaping up well. The rest of yesterday was spent in bed drifting in and out of sleep with only music for company.
In the evening we went to see Francis' smoking buddy and the local nurse, also called Francis. Francis No.2 tested me for malaria and once I was fortunately found to be negativo. He gave me lots of pills (for free! I think all healthcare is free here), so I've now got some paracetamol, a couple of other things that I can't understand and some repulsive 'oral rehydration salts'.
This morning (Wednesday) wasn't too much fun either. I woke up feeling a bit better…or, hold on, was it really that I was better? Apparently not. I realised that the reason I wasn't moving from where I'd opened my eyes, was because I knew that if I moved I wouldn't feel any better at all. Cue the dizziness and sickness when I did eventually stir.
So, here I sit: on my clammy single bed, in a humid child’s room, feeling sorry for myself and not wanting to move for fear of nausea All I've had today is two slices of bread, two boiled eggs, some coke and a lot of that disgusting salty drink.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!
update 04/10/2012: For those who are wondering, today (Thursday) has not been much fun either. It's a national holiday so I'm not missing out on much. But still, I've been stuck mostly indoors with my back strain, nausea and of course, the Inhassune incontinence.
update 04/10/2012: For those who are wondering, today (Thursday) has not been much fun either. It's a national holiday so I'm not missing out on much. But still, I've been stuck mostly indoors with my back strain, nausea and of course, the Inhassune incontinence.
