Fatty's First Day

The day started well, or badly, that all depends whose side you're on. If you are in any way 'pro rat', it was a very bad day. For us on the 'anti rat' side in the volunteer's house, this morning was a good start to the day.

It all started last night when we thought we'd got two rats at the same time. They both came out of their hole together; one went into the toilet and the other behind the shelves in the kitchen. Since the shelving one wasn't visible we focused our attention on the toilet rat. And also, since our resident rat killer (Francis) was having a shower, it was left to Sue and I to panic and wonder what to do with the stationary rat in our toilet. After much deliberating and shallow breathing, I decided that I wasn't ready to use the stick that I was meant to hit rats with. Instead, I tried the bow and arrow!!…you can guess how that turned out. The shelving rat escaped too, the result last night: Rats 2, Humans 0

However! In the shower room this morning, possibly after such a close shave last night, I found this guy:

Anyway, on only a slightly less pest related note and for all those Fatty (real name Vernacio) fans out there…as a result of our rounding up on Friday, we managed to enlist Fatty and his best friend for their first day at school!! As a result of Fridays recruitment drive, I think there was an extra 4 new guys for the youngest class and maybe 3 for the class that are a year older.

A total of 9 for the first class - 10 with a latecomer. 

Oh, and look who it is!

He even wore his bestest shirt for you dear reader...or maybe it was more to impress his classmates, who knows, I can't ask him, we haven't got a clue what we're saying to each other! If you can't make it out what the writing, his t-shirt says: "MY CAR is very speedy I am too small to reach the pedals when I grow up I'LL BE KING OF THE ROAD".

Fatty's first day was a relatively musical one. A bit of musical limbering up to start off with:

And then a bit of beanbag balancing on your head, set of course to music. I didn't manage a picture of that one; I was on guitar playing duties, you see. Some clapping and jumping was also in there for good measure.

We then did a bit of counting objects in Portuguese, only up to 5 mind you, you can't expect too much, they're only 3! After all that exertion it was time for squash, a couple of biscuits, playtime and then class time over.

You'll be glad to hear that Fatty wasn't in any way scarred by his encounter, he was outside and straight to the swings after his lesson, no time to waste.

I decided that the playing looked to good to miss out on, so I joined in a bit too.

As you might expect from a cheeky, rotund little child with big eyes and chubby cheeks, he does get into a bit of trouble and could do with a little discipline at times. At those particular times, I hand him over to Francis.

So, all in all, Fatty's first day didn't go too badly after all. He brushed up on his dancing, he learnt how to count, he made some new friends and he even got some refreshments for his hard work. All in all, a successful day, I think he'll be back.

But speaking of new friends, I have someone to introduce you to. Now, from where you're sitting, she may look a bit like a Mozambican Bride Of Chucky, but she just needs to work on her posing. She may also have some dried snot under her nose, but don't we all? Ladies and gentlemen, another very cute child straight out of Inhassune, Mozambique, I give you…Isabella!

A Day In The Life

Today after school, we set out on journey to find a good old fashioned sunset. Admittedly we could already see that it was going to be slightly cloudy, but what else is there to do on a Friday night in Mozambique? The answer is, not much, possibly drink, unless you have transport.

We also decided that on the way to this crap sunset, it would be a good idea to round up a few more kids for school on Monday. Since the turnout for the past week wasn't so good, it was time to speak to the parents. The school is completely free so they can't really say no. Oh, and when I say 'speak to the parents', what I really meant was, Francis would speak to the parents and Sue and I would stand there and look pretty…well I did anyway.

So, off we trotted towards the sunset. And what's this we should come across whilst walking along the main path, past the shacks and school children? Oh it's only a cow being tightly bound to tree by it's head, just about ready to have it's throat slit!!

Needless to say, we didn't stop for long. Apparently it had failed to give birth and the calf had died inside it 3 or so days ago. I'm not an expert but they didn't seem to think it had much chance of survival. 

Anyway, by the time we'd gone round the corner, on account of all the singing and shouting, we realised we'd just avoided the slaughter. Thankful and relieved we turned another corner and found a shit load of live cows. The fencing and the cows and their horns we like a work of art. I've attempted to do it justice in these pictures but I'm not sure you'll get the full picture.

Since there was no other way back, we had to walk past our favourite freshly slain carcass. Fortunately for my stomach, there wasn't much blood so naturally, I decided to take a picture!

It occurred to Sue and I that as well as dead african cows, we'd never seen cotton growing in a field either. Cue the next picture:

A few more cotton fields and shacks later I managed to find a genuine African cliché! This wasn't even set up or anything, even though I had to zoom in a bit, I'm pretty happy with it. Look at the colours and stuff!

Anyway, that's all really, the sunset wasn't too bad after all either. Just another day in Inhassune, Mozambique.

And if anyone wants a more accurate location of the village, it's exactly here. You can even see the football pitch and the well worn paths that cross it!

http://goo.gl/maps/Jd9Te

The Morning Workout

It seems the novelty of me hasn't worn off yet!

After breakfast I do a few exercises on the climbing frame and I take my music player out with me. There's always kids wanting to join in, they'll either do a bit of dancing - which is always funny to watch - or they'll try to copy what I do. Although I'm more than happy to help them and show them how do it properly, I'm not too sure how good exercises in general are for little kids.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share a few pictures of this morning's routine. You might notice that Fatty appears in all 3, I seem to have made a friend there. He also has a best friend (and I am disappointed that it's not me) who would usually be there, but I caught him red-handed pissing on the climbing frame!!!! He was still pissing when he was trying to put his boyhood back in his shorts!! So, naturally, I told him off and he ran away. He shouldn't be doing that again in a hurry. I have asked and I'm glad to learn that this isn't common occurrence. Today's lesson for all to take home with you: never piss on a climbing frame.

Winning!

We are winning the battle with the house rats!…we've also just found out that it's not just rats, we're fighting with mice too!

Francis gave me some rat poison to spread around, after a bit of trial and error, I found where they live and over a couple of days they've eaten a whole packet amongst them. 

Yesterday morning Sue came out of her room with a very dead mouse in her dust pan and brush - the first casualty of our offensive. Last night was pretty unusual, we were cooking dinner, minding our own business and out from one of the other rooms wanders a rather large and dazed looking rat! I've seen them in roof before but they're always pretty quick to run away. It was very strange to see one from this new perspective. This one was walking very slowly and not even trying to hide, just trudging across the middle of the floor across the rug.

I had no idea about this, but apparently they don't like to die where they live, so this one had probably said his last goodbyes and, as Francis said, was asking to die. We didn't quite oblige but the very nice guard did: Francis kicked it out the door and the guard came and dumped him in the septic tank (a good dead rat gets the decaying process going again)! 

I took a picture for posterities sake. Note the size of the shoes and rat. Serves him right anyway, his family kept me awake playing above my head most nights!

Help The Aged

Thursday mornings are for the elderly. Francis had a driving lesson so Sue and I had to do it alone. The large language barrier isn't too much of a problem since they've been coming for a while, they know the deal even if we don't. It seems that the order of proceedings goes something like: a bit of chat and singing amongst themselves, a cup o' tea, some kind of activity, something to eat, a bit more singing and then they all get up at once and shuffle home.

They turn up at around 10, though they don't have watches so I can't imagine how they know what 10 is. Once they all arrived 15 was the total head count. So once they're all sitting down, they have their chat, most sing and a few have a dance. They get lots maracas and other percussion from of one of the boxes around the edge of the classroom.

Meanwhile, Sue and I are simultaneously making lunch and tea; the former was some kind of rice, onion and tomato all-in-one thing. The latter was made with powdered milk. Both were made on the BBQ, apparently we don't use our one hob because it'll use all the gas up.

So after the tea, I provided the soundtrack whilst Sue gave them some very simple exercises to do: a bit of arm raising and foot stretching.

They're all very impressive for their ages, all are 70 and over. There's one man in the group and he's 84 and doing very well, thank you very much. There's a couple of the women who really are at a right angle when they're walking, it's from a lifetime of working in the fields bent over. One is completely blind but she's alright too, her friends help her out, even with Sue's exercises.

Whats more is that none of them stink!! Not one reeks of piss and not one is grumpy (well maybe one), they're all very happy and, if not running around, they're all coherent in body and mind. Maybe that's something to be said for keeping active in old age?

Anyway, I was very impressed with old fogeys and the point of this blog is to say that today I felt a bit like a lesser Paul Simon today. At the end, whilst they were doing they're singing, dancing and percussion thing, I grabbed the guitar and started playing. At first I couldn't find the key because I've never played with anyone like that before, but once found it's pretty easy (I, IV and V in various orders for those in the know). I think they enjoyed it and I very much did too.

Lost?

You remember that series 'Lost'? The one about the plane crash and the island and all that funny stuff happening? If you don't, what I'm about to talk about might not make too much sense. But today felt very much like a particular episode of that. 

There's this guy that Francis knows, his name is Blessing and he works as an accountant for one or both of the aforementioned Italian fuel companies. He also has a daughter, Nicole, who comes to our school. 

First of all, Blessing has a car, a nice white 4x4 - a relatively new and clean one, which is rare around here - which has already proven useful. Blessing, his wife, Nicole, Francis, Sue and I drove about 5 kilometres down the only road to three solitary tables by the side of the road, these tables manned by 3 elderly women. There wasn't much else but lots of tomatoes in bowls on display, and that was lucky because it's what we'd come for: good quality tomatoes! Now, do bear in mind that when I say 'good quality', it's all relative - less yellow and pockmarked but slightly more red is probably more of an accurate description.

Anyway, on the way back Blessing said he'd take us to his house, to which we agreed. It's in a small complex of about 10 large concrete box houses, apparently built by the company for it's more senior employees. I wasn't aware of anything other than huts in village so a nice car and proper houses was a bit of a surprise.

So you know that episode of Lost where they find the hatch? The one where they go inside and find that countdown clock thing that they have to enter some numbers into every so often? Well if you don't, I'll explain. As well as this weird clock thing, inside the hatch it's like a huge time capsule from the 70's. There's the obvious 70's decor, a vinyl player, canned food and condiments, a projector of sorts (or maybe it's an old TV), old computers, as well as 70's furniture, running water and all the usual household items. All things you wouldn't expect to find on a desert island.

I'm not saying that Blessing's house is like a time capsule form the 70's, but it turns out Blessing's house isn't too far off. He's got all the proper furniture you'd expect in a proper house, a large music system, loads of toys for Nicole, air conditioning, fast internet and one massive plasma screen TV with all the channels; sports, films, news etc.

It felt very, very strange to have come all the way to Mozambique to be sitting on a comfy sofa with cushions, in front of a (very loud) TV with everything around me that I have at my own home. It felt even stranger when you consider the juxtaposition between Blessing and the people who live so very basically just outside of his house. 

Dispute the obvious difference between Blessing and the majority of the village; both parties seem equally happy and content with the situation. Admittedly, one side doesn't have much of a choice, but whenever you go around the village, nobody looks unhappy, everyone just gets on with things. They have clothes, food, jobs and shelter, and with those few things, they seem to do just fine.

I'd maybe somewhat shortsightedly assumed that all I would find in this village would be quite a few unhappy people living in shacks and cooking on fires. Although they do live in shacks and cook on fires, I'm glad to find that rather than being starving and unhappy, they're doing very well on their own. So rather than even more clothes or more food handouts, all these people really could do with now is an education. And that's what this school is here help with.

The Local Wildlife

I had a wander around the village today, I thought it would be a good idea to show you some of the village pets, food and sights.

This is Francis' pig, he will meet his maker in December. Meanwhile, he's my pet, he loves a good stroke behind the ears.

A guard dog, on guard

And then the sun went down so I couldn't take anymore. No electricity for lights you see!